Our Page of Randomness and Laughs!!

If your a woman you already know that there are many types of bra's. They come in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. But even with all of this variety, there are really only four types to choose from. They are as follow: Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist.

   Now your probably competely befuddled, and want to know the differences!? Well, it's really quite simple...

      The Catholic type supports the masses,

      The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,

      The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and

      The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills!

Medical facts which all males should be aware of........

We've all heard about people having guts or balls.  But do you realy know the difference between them?  In an effort to keep you informed ,  the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,  being met by your wife with a broom,  and having the guts to ask;  "Are ou still cleaning,  or are you flyng somewhere?"

BALLS -  is coming home later after a night out with the guys,  smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar,  slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say:  "Your next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.  In reality there isn't much difference since either one will ultimately result in death.

Wait, hold on we've got one more type of bra to add!  The fifth type is:

      The German bra: the Holtzemfromfloppen!!!! 

CRACK 2 EGGS (LARGE OR EXTRA LARGE) INTO THE BAG (NOT MORE THAN TWO), SHAKE
TO COMBINE THEM

YOU CAN PUT IN A VARIETY OF INGREDIENTS SUCH AS:  CHEESES, HAM ONION, GREEN
PEPPER, TOMATO, HASHBROWNS, SALSA, ETC.
MAKE SURE ALL THE AIR IS OUT OF THE BAG, ZIP IT CLOSED AND SHAKE BAG AGAIN
TO MIX INGREDIENTS.

PLACE THE BAGS INTO BOILING WATER FOR EXACTLY 13 MINUTES.  YOU CAN USUALLY
COOK 6-8 OMELETS IN A LARGE POT.  OPEN THE BAGS AND THE OMELET WILL ROLL
OUT EASILY

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G and H  are the letters used to define bra sizes? Well, if you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it's about time you became well informed!

         (A) Almost Boobs...

         (B) Barely There.

         (C) Can't Complain!

         (D) Dang!

        (DD) Double Dang!

         (E) Enormous!

         (F) Fake.

         (G) Get a Reduction.

         (H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!

A Halloween Story:  The Witch And The Dead

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town.

After a few drinks,  they end up at the local brothel.

The Madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager,  "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.

As they are walking home the first man says,  "You know, I think my girl was DEAD!" "DEAD?" says his friend, "Why would you say that?"  "Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her."

His friend says,  "I think mine was a witch."  "A witch, why the hell  would you say that?"  "Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window."

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from
birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family.  Talk
about sticker shock!  That doesn't even touch college tuition.  But
$160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down  It translates into:

     * $8,896.66 a year,

     * $741.38 a month, or

     * $171.08 a week.

     * That's a mere $24.24 a day!

     * Just over a dollar an hour.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up.  You get to

     * finger-paint,

     * carve pumpkins,

     * play hide-and-seek,

     * catch lightning bugs, and

     * never stop believing in Santa Claus.

     You have an excuse to:

     * keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,

     * watching Saturday morning cartoons,

     * going to Disney movies, and

    * wishing on stars.

     * You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator
magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints

set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's
Day.